heahache =(

yesterday and today.. i was headache leh.. dont know why..
not enough sleep? erm i hv sleep more than 7 hours wor...
yesterday i m busy with my job.. from morning until evening.. nonstop run up and down.. tired..
i m so weak oh.. easy get tired.. =(
plus i m less drink water also.. =(
haih.. stupiak.. =X

today need to sleep early la.. or not tml cannot work again if still headache =X

goodnight loh =)

take care for my health!

from last week, i already do sit up, put my leg up and other exercise everynight before sleep..

wow.. today do 100 times sit up.. really tired..

erm i dont know why i suddenly will do exercise..

i think i also need to do thg for my heathly.. and get a good figure for my ownself..
erm.. like that only can make me feel more confidence for myself =)

beside do exercise, i also start go to swimming.. 3 times per week..
i wish to jogging but i m lazy haha =X
i prefer swimming maybe its my hobby XD..

so i bought swimwear is right choice! hehe no matter its expensive..
last time i bought it i still worry about i dint go swimming or just buy for fun..

haha finally i got use it.. =P

i also seldom drink coffee in office already.. after i was sick last few months..

last time i really addicted to coffee 1.. every morning sure make a cup coffee..

now? just drink hot milo and 1 piece of bread for my breakfast only.. hehe

now i m thinking of.. that why.. or i also dont know why i suddenly want do this do that..
>.<

oh ya my next target is buy iphone!!
i hunger to it long time already.. hehe...

now still do research and find info for buy iphone..

why i want it?
because i think i need it loh
when i go outside i can bring it for on9, facebook, find friends chitchat hehe..
nonid bring what laptop go anyplace.. right?
plus my laptop already old la... i think i use it over 3 years d..
wanna rosak jor!~~~

now also start to save money bit by bit for buy new desktop.. and for small trip..

i plan to go whole malaysia trip 1st.. after few years maybe i hv earn more money only go oversea for travel..

this is all my planning loh..
i aldo dont know why i will think like that le.. =X

of cause i will continue to shop SHOP SHOP!!
its my hobby.. hehe

i wish i only shop more during sales la..

but i also allow myself to shop if i wiling to shop..

see!! financial problems!!

want this want that.. how to find more money?

thts y i still think about extra job loh..

i will discuss with him and give me more idea for it..

only he can encourage me XD..

actually i dont want only talk, but i really wish that i can do it also...
but i scare i cant make it..
really dont know what i want now le.. how?

now i only do what can i do slowly..
start to do from small wish 1st..

okla.. time to sleep la..
tomorrow have to work lolx.. bored!=X

what the feeling i have after read my pervious blog..

oh no..

many sadness for my previous day..

alots blogs i write for him..

i can feel that i love him so much last time..

its good memory..

i keep think of the memory while i read my blogs..

hehe feeling stupiak~!

oh ya.. also keep mention about my job..

erm.. i think this 2 bad things that make me suffer always >.<

now.. i still thinking of him again

but that feeling is..........

i dont know how to describe about it

not i still love him or miss him

but he really give me alots memories that make me unable to forget him..

i m not sure that he still keep read my blog or not..

if he still read my blog, i wish to tell him

to be a better man =)

ermm...

now i start to "fan" about money loh..

i feel that i dont have enough money to spend.. and i really wan to save money for my future le >.<

actually i have plan to work as part time promoter or waitress on weekend..
but i dont know why i still dint take action yet..

1st of all, i worry for my full time job.. i always scare i have to work OT on weekend..
but that fucking company dint give OT, i only claim few OT sometime only!! wtf..

sometime feel want to change job again..

all are politic problems..
really sick of it..

actually i m not dislike my job, quite ok for my job actually..
just sometime they give me many, too many jobs untill i m tough for it..

as i know, this job can give me alots skill and knowledge.. learn many things.. so i plan that i can work at least one year if i still can tahan loh..

another things...
i still thinking or considering about dancing..
should i go back to find my dancing teacher? or to learn part time teacher also?
or another choice..

i have one friend is dancer one..
always go for performance.. seem like very fun
i love dancing so much seriously..

but time and certain situation make me unable to do so..

one : no enough money support me
second : my full time job make me scare that i need to work OT anytime..
third : no time because working ..

haih.. if i go to be dancer..without few money.. i also cannot survive ah..

i need more time to plan and think about it..

suddenly feel that now is the time for me to do somethings for my ownself and future..

but what i need to do now? haih...

say easy and hard to do >.<

nowever, i already dint always daydream about find a rich bf feed me forever and get marry as early as i can..

i know i m not a lucky or Hang fuk girl..
always see my friends have a good bf to feed them and nonid to worry of money..
or get marry soon and be a xiu lai lai

all are my wishes in my mind always..>.<
its wont happen on me loh haha

i know something..

that is when i hunger to get it, it does not deserved to me always..

i m used to it slowly already for few month ago..

start to stop to think of stupiak dream hehe

but i still satisfy for my current life..

because i still can get happiness in my life..

"我不是不好命 ,只是别人比我更好命罢了 !!"
可以羡慕, 不用去计较 ...
不然 真是 "人比人,气死人"

我怎么了？

我到底怎么了？

我刚才因为太无聊去看我所有朋友的部落格。

我就看到他的。

当我看他的部落格，我不知不觉地掉眼泪。

原来在他的回忆是没有我的存在。

口口声声地说喜欢我，却没看到他的回忆有我。

干吗掉泪呀？傻傻的我=X

也许自己想太多了呵呵。。。

不想再掉任何眼泪了。。。

心会难过的。。

要习惯他的对待和冷落。。

其实我已经麻木了，没有什么感觉。。

只是偶尔会想想他。。。

我知道他是不会想跟我一起的，等他是浪费时间。。

还是当他是好朋友就好 呵呵

about him and him

can anyone tell me why?

why i will thinking of him again when i listen " no promises & Heartbeat (LeeHom)"

i dont know why.. and wonder that whether i still love him or not?

i have been long time dint contact him and talk to him..

why suddenly think of him and some memory of "us"

thinking of what we did for last time..

i was smile while thinking of those things..

pure feeling~

its true..

i listen to "heartbeat" from lee hom while driving just now, i still thinking about izit that i already found my true love and all are missed and gone in my life again..

i dont know what he doing and where is him now..

i hope he is fine..

but.. if he is good man without his bad attitude.. its so wonderful for me..

another guy..

this guy when i meet him, i feel like wanna to hunger to get marry with him XP~
but i dont know what he thinking of now.. but i still like him so much..
he like to escape my topic.. but i already try to stop it as he dont like to face it..

sometime, i will think that izit we choose other as our partner, then will He and I regret for dint choose each other or not?

seriously.. i dont like to do something make myself regret forever..

i always wish i will get him at the end.. but now seems like impossible..

sign~!

people will say i m think too much..

i just want to find an answer..

i dont like to waste my times..

i rather he told me that he has a gf.. then i will give up.. =]
seriously i dont like to waiting for someone i wish to have..

well, i dont know what i m waiting for in my love life..
i also dont have the mood for it..

i cant used to be alone now.. =(

wont give up..

i wont give up...

no matter how suffer i am.. i will take this experience at least 1 year!!!

then i think i can get more better job for my future =)

this path maybe difficult to do..

but i aways think..

i have learn alots at same time..

do purchasing job, telephone operator, admin job, engineering job and few project, negotiate with other supplier... etc..

after learn all.. i think it help me get more experience and get better job in future..

i need to be patient and tolerance now..

but i need do hard for my future...

haiyaya i dont want to think too much la..

hehe..

enjoyable..

this 3 days, i m very enjoy my day..
shopping, eating, have fun with my all dear buddies..
i m so happy for spending my money and never feel regret for it..

but tomorrow i need to face my job again
i dont know whether its suffer or not
i dont dare to think about it
just wish i can do my best for it..

i hope everything can going smoothly..
hope tomorrow is great day to me as my friends said..=)

my decision is right=)

finally.. my decision is right....

although i have bit down for it, but i can see the fact that i need to face now..

i am awake now.. time for me to let it go Go~ GO~ Go away~

you guys are right..

its not belong to me and not enough sincere & love for me..

i should give up early from beginning..

i give up now and forever..

back to my real life..

and...


my heart already was stolen by someone... =)
i am also bad girl =P

Nobody will understand me..

there is nobody understand me...
i very down... its useless for me to worry of..
everytime you guys scold me, say me, push me hard, force me tightly..
i never say anythings..
now stilll dare to say me again and complaint me again..
i also never say anythings just keep quiet..
i dint say anythings does not mean you guy are right..
just i feel whatever i done, u guys never appreciate me one..
so what should i shoot you guys back?
no matter what i do is right or wrong, you guys can said me again with your mood..
good mood then joke around with me, if moody just ask me shut up..
or complaint me again..
hahahahaha...
i m so silly....
when you guys disturbing me when i busy my job.. i never say anythings..
now i just talk with you guys only, you guys can ask me shut up and ignore me..
izit call " work as family?"

you are leader, so what?
leader dai sai ar?
if you feel unhappy with my work and attitudes
just talk with me lah.. why ask other people talk wtih me?
its call responsible leader mah?
you like to work hard without OT claims
its your business le..
you like to stay back.. does not mean i also like to do same with you ok?
i just work as admin in this eng department, why keep pushing me do this do that..
many things in my hand already still want me to do more..
why dont hire people to work again?
who's fault now?

i hate work with those always show his or her blackface..
please dont work with your emotional..
its so irritating..
you dont talk to me and ignore me, i already dint disturb you
but can you dont disturb me when i m busy?

please la think twice about yourself before saying people..

i hate a person who like report to boss and leader..

i admit i m not good in handling tender.. thts y i go to find other help me..
why?
cause you guys keep busy or ignore me..

what can i do?

sure find other teach me then..

at the end, you guys say me cant work indepedently..
laughing of me..
haih....

i never report to anyone what are you doing in office..

i be silly again.. cause need work ask family

all bull shit.................

jst now go to watch funny mv alone..

its really funny..

of caurse i sure laugh but its fake..

mind still empty.. for how to do and face those people in office..

i dont want to talk with them anymore except work.. no others

feel so down and lonely..

go movie alone really lonely..
its my first time

buy regular combo popcorn and a coca cola

eating alone

watching alone

driving alone

all by myself...

lolx.. funny lah =)

i dont want share anythings with friends anymore lah..
they not willing to listen you..
even call them
no one can answer you...

i better used to be alone..
until oneday i also die alone=)

i am so useless person!!!!

so pressure for current work =(

haih... why want like that leh?

i really try my best liao..

first time handle project and b leader.. its great opportunity.. but i dont really like to do..

my knowledge for engineering job is ZERO... i m trying to learn it..

of course its not easy..

from zero basic start to learn it its very suffer and very hard...

now i want to say that,

its too many job i need to do...

at the same time i need to learn many things..

regarding to tender, i just do ducting for once, do piping for once...

plus.. diff tender have diff methods

this time tender, i m not really understand the drawing for it..

i need ask ppl if i m not sure about it..

but people seems like unwilling to help me, what can i do le? just eat myself loh..

since i start feel don't hv mood and unhappy then go home early.. go relax

tomorrow only continue my job with new mood again..

but before i leave office..

someone said " if any problems for tender or cannot finish, i need responsible for it"

yes i am..
i should responsible for it because i m leader..
but not enough staffs and last mins ask me handle some one's job.. sure feel unhappy lah..
if someone cannot do it, should tell me early.. or we can cooperate.. each do 1 part right? then don't need feel so rush and panic..
but someone said she or he can do it.. its easy only.. then i sure relieve about it after he or she said..

now i think i do all loh.. add one job again
uhh~ be tolerance..

its pressure i still can accept.. but i dont want OT always without no OT claims..
i admit that no money support.. i cannot work hard..
i don't know whether its bad thinking of or what..

everyone wish to earn more money..
me too..

but i work hard without no OT claim..
its worth?
just worth for me learn more knowledge only..

i don't think that i can earn more money in this engineering field..

current company finance not so good...

plus no OT claims..

how i do hard, my salary also cannot increase so much lah..

should i continue or leave?

i need time to think about it..

long time dint update my blog already...

aiya long time dint update my blog le.. hehe

today is saturday, also is raining day oh..

time for good to sleep well =P

but i cannot sleep.. maybe i sleep over 8 hours hehe

i still sick.. still cough sometime.. and my voice become so sexy now =P

h1n1?

i very scare about it.. cause i dont want to leave my world so early..

i havent marry yet

i havent get a cute baby

alots things i havent do yet...

i will take care myself very well one...

later go to take dinner with daddy.. western food.. hehe

happy.. cause my favourite =P

ok stop here.. cause dont know what to write =P

活该是我自己

我没讨厌任何人，我很讨厌自己

以为有人会陪着我过日子，可是在那一瞬间就消失了

孤独还是靠自己过吧

快乐时光真是短暂而已....

好想让自己吃大大大餐噢....来麻醉自己...
让自己开心点吧...

很想睡，但睡不着，怎么办?

我不哭了，很想笑一笑
可是笑得很假噢

照镜子了， 样子很丑呀..不笑很丑噢
我笑不出了....

人人都会听到我笑... "hahaha"
可是, 假或真的笑都没人晓得..........

如果有人真的懂我在想什么，那该多好........

There are some things that i can live without!

Anything you need, must have or cant do without has dominion over you and your life.
you are a slave of sorts. i am not talking about here about food, clothing and shelter!
i m talking about anything or anyone, from your mother to your job, that you feel you must have, must help or cannot walk away from for one reason or another. i am talking about, the gamut from food to sex, people to pets, shoes to butter on both sides of your bread. if god didn't put it in you, but you believe you cannot live without it, you are in a lot of trouble!
all too often, we turn our lives over to things and people, believing that they are essential to our survival.
how does it happened?
why do we become enslaved?
why does it happened?
why do we turn our lives and our power over to things and people?
well, its trick!
it is the trick of fear!

fear will do anything, use anyone, to throw you off track, keep you off base and move you in the wrong direction. fear is very well aware that as long as you believe there is something you cannot do without, you have an excuse not to do the things you must! fear also knows that as long as you have an excuse for not doing, fear has something to do! fear will keep you running. fear will tie you down, beat you up and leave you gasping for air!
FEAR is the master trickster! it will make you responsible to others!
FEAR is the very thing that prevent you from letting go of everything and everyone esle.

until now, you may not have been aware of all of the things and people you hold on to in response to fear.
just for now, accept that you are afraid to let go!
make a list of all the things you believe you NEED.
read the list and identify all the excuse you give yourself for holding on. then mentally and emotionally, let go.

today, i am devoted to eliminating all fear-based reasons, excuses and habits!

my opinions are that i live happily in my life as well than others and i will don't to be fear for anythings in my life anymore.

Miss Him

don't know why i suddenly thinking of him again tonight..
he is the one i love most in my life but.......
sigh~
first time put this picture on my blog..
hehe
it maybe a memory in my mind=)

I miss that time we get fun last time..

i m fine now.. don't worry it
just like to share something on my blog only
i wont desperate for it anymore.
it is game over already lah ...




凌晨3点15分 7-11的灯
把这世界孤单的人
一个个照得失了魂
你留在唇边的吻
透着12月的冷
MARRY CHRISTMAS 红色玫瑰
探出头笑我太愚蠢
我不问昨天爱多深
我不问眼泪有多冷
所谓牺牲
秒秒分分
都是折磨人的缘份
我不问明天有多疼
我不问黑夜有多冷
所谓终点
只是思念
想不到我只能听一句再见

he is not the one that i want to..

i think he is not suitable for me ^^

he maybe belong to others ^^

i m not his target...maybe ^^

i couldn't find a real man~

i dont want a boyfriend, i need a real man.

he?
its too far

he?
still young

he?
too bad

he?
ugly la..

he?
he is the best but... i m sorry for him

he?
i dont know, i m still confuse and wonder him

hehe.....

who is he?
has many he+s....

XP

对我来说是....

6年的恋爱和感情，对你来说是怎样呢？
基本上对我来说是很好呀，不错吧...
可是我又再想一想...
它不是这样的...
人家说看起来象老夫老妻...因为彼此都知道，了解对方...
可是对我说是好象变成兄妹感情了...
妹妹有事的时候，就会找哥哥了
哥哥就会马上帮妹妹解决，安慰妹妹，好好疼妹妹的那种感觉...
当妹妹没事，就不找哥哥了，她玩她的，哥哥就忙他的....
从一开始的甜蜜感情变成了兄妹感情..好无奈

多年的恋爱也会有分手的一天..

失去了，才会懂得珍惜....


我呢？
呵呵...
我好象喜欢他了...
我开始想他了...
^_^

last email to him and me

To JD

please control ur emotion
dont try to hurt other
its cannot attract me to love you so much..
i think all my fault that to make u become insane person
my heart is so pain (tear dropping again)


You told me
"I just hope to do something for u
I hope what i did today can make u feel better
I just want u to be happy and smile again
As long as u are happy, I will be happy as well"

ur words are fooling me =)
anyhow,
it maybe true "she dont belong to me anymore, i missed it"
then i give you my opinion that you are wasting each other chances, times, keep miss all our fate.
i will slowly dissappear in front of you,
cause i also feel unhappy to meet you again now.
i hope other girl can replace me in your heart, get a lover sooner, have good future.
dont find a girl like me always hurt you if you think that i m..


yuko
heart broken


always think that you will change , change a better man
but at the end, i m the one think too much already..
well, its ok
times can erase all the "memory" in my mind asap..
what i want? what i dream? what i desparate?
all wont be happen in now and future FOREVER..

still left 30% of love, i think it is easy to dissappear soon

do not feel hurt, sad and cry anymore for someone that dont know how to appreciate me last time, as long as i know somethings from him.

KISSgoodBYE~

because of him, i know that i still love my Darling so much..

我聽見有人叫你寶貝(nice song)

你問我為什么 不再給你安慰
在寒風中漫步有家不回好幾天不見面也無所謂
你問我為什么 把你的信退回又把照片撕碎毫不后悔
你問我為了什么 開始喝酒而且每次都喝醉
不要說我做得不對
不要說你永遠不會
因為我在無意間聽見有人叫你寶貝
不要說這是個誤會
請不要在我面前流淚
因為我明明聽見有人叫你寶貝
你讓他叫你 寶貝

this song quite nice and sadness..
sob sob...

DONT GO AWAY (SONG) for someone

Looking through your eyes
there’s nothing to hide
And you’re no longer mine
How could I survive when you say goodbye
Why do birds still fly up high?
Can’t stop the tears from fallin’
We used to be so fine
when you walked into my life
I tried to reach out for you just to be with you
My heart is breakin'
Don’t Don’t Go Away
Baby, don’t you know, I miss you so
Don’t Don’t Go Away
I’ve never been on my own before
Wooh…. Oh….
Can’t you hear me just take me with you
So don’t don’t go away
Don’t Don’t Go Away
Baby, don’t you know, I miss you so
Don’t Don’t Go Away
I’ve never been on my own before
So won’t you feel my heartbeat once more

sick >.<

lastnight, i was sick..
suddenly stomach feels uncomfortable..
cannot sleep well..
and vomit suddenly also
while vomit.. not only vomit out from mouth, also out from my nose..
its so painful..
lastnight i dint eat so much for my dinner.
cause i dont have appetite
i just keep drink water and some soft drinks..
what i vomit out?
water =.=
my eye also trun to red and some tears around my eyes..
i think its too suffer at that moment.
after i go to take medicine
my family told me
maybe its gastric...
i dont think so..
but i dint think too much, jst clean up my floor and sleep again..
recently, i really seldom eat so much..
not like me..
i always eat alots when i m hungry last time.
why?
what happen on me?
its too pressure?
i also dont know..
hope i can eat more XD

无言

我真的没话说..
我不知道到底他在做什么..
我想两人在一起应该跟彼此聊心事，商量及解决问题..
我不知道怎样跟他沟通好..
问题还是存在..
我们说好去云顶..
如果不能去的话，至少跟我说..
可是没有，他没说什么..
我等了他很久...
我在等他给我答案..
sms他，他也没回我..
让我担心又难过...
我虽然没哭，心却冷了...
我等他告诉我他发生什么事..
他没说什么
说我讨厌他..
我怎么讨厌他？我爱他都来不及了..那会讨厌他？
我很想讨厌他呀，我真的想讨厌他..
可是我做不到..
他几乎不理我了..
他说我生气他..
我没有反而我原谅他了
工作的确是忙，可是不用忙到不能聊几小时麻...
我多忙都会跟他聊天..
为什么他不能？
他真的爱我吗？
连见我的机会也没有..
我还能做什么？
等待？
我等很久了...
我傻了吗？
呵呵
为什么他要这样对我?
我快要趁不下去了..
我只需要他偶尔找我下，陪陪我..
他说好，可是没作到
有时说不要逼他..
呵呵..好笑吧..不然叫别人来陪我..
我要的是他不是别人..
我很想知道他发生什么事，作什么..
他又不说..好没有安全感喔..
我对这感情开始没信心了...
我去找他很多次了，可是我没看他的出现...白等整天了...
我承认我脾气不好，爱发脾气..
可是他不开心有时还会生气我..
我....真的很难过...
好想有人骂醒我
我每天用好方面去想他的好..
可是每次都掉眼泪..
爱一个人如此不容易
爱一个人也好难
爱得苦.....

my viva coming soon^^

hehe
i will get new car soon
i can drive anywhere by myself..
nonid always fetched by my family or friends..
yeah...
black viva..
i hunger to get you...
i will love you so much
take care of you so much
i can fly anywhere i want..
so happy!!!!
hahaha.......

无奈

我真的无奈了..
命中注定..
好不容易的等待着他,他却跟你说他要走了..
我不知道我该说些什么..
我知道我不会阻止你做什么，但我逼你做你却不喜欢..
我不知道怎么办叻..
我知道我很down...
我不舍得
我想哭哦，可是哭不出..
心痛不得
苦笑不得...
我...
我还是一个人...
是结束了吗？
我想应该是了吧..

p/s: 他说 如果找到一个更好的，就去吧..他祝福我...
我听了我的心很伤....

我不想

我不想吵架啦...
一点点小事也生气我，讲我...
每次都怀疑我...
我真的不想吵架！！！！
我真的不想...
本来是开心的，到最后也一样伤心...
我都不要求你做些什么，我就不想天天都吵架，会伤感情的...
不喜欢的话，就不理我，吵架了也没要哄回我..喜欢的话，就甜言密语..
一句道歉送给我..
我要的不是道歉..
每次吵架了就off掉..不理我
让我又伤又气对着电脑 象傻人..
觉得自己好傻喔...
我真的不要这样子啦...
我真的跟他沟通不来..
我说了好多次了
他都听不懂我的心情...
我真的不开心..
讨厌他!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bygone be bygone

终于感情结束了，我也该专心工作了，不再迷糊了，该有足够的睡眠了吧..
很想把一切做好，打好我的事业! 加油..
我还矛盾这份工到底适不适合我， 我都会再次努力做好..
我会尽力去做..
不管这条路多难走，我会想办法去渡过难关的..
我会找到我自己想要的事业的
虽然我还没有足够的经年，但我会好好地做下去...直到我有能干的一天..我就会逃出这条路..
我不会再钻牛角尖了...
工作是这样的，我也应该承面对它,不在逃避...我不要在意别人对我的看法..
我会做的更好的
我会幔幔的学习我该学的东西..
我也不会感到害怕了，要勇敢面对...
向前冲！
yuko 加油喔..=)

i love you

i love you
but i cannot accept a certain things happen on you
i feel guilty
i feel sad
i feel i m bad
i m not qualify to love you anymore.
you ask me that " will you accept me?"
i really do love you but i cannot accept it.
i m bad right?
i also hate myself
i m regret to do sthg bad on you until u become like tht..
really sorry
i really love you but myself really cant accept it
maybe need take some times to accept it
i dont know how to describe my feeling now
when you really love someone, but you yourself canot or unable to accept it
its very trouble and suffer
weird...
very confuse
sigh i really dont know what i want also
i never look down you
i just want make u become strong or motivate you
at the end, u look like misunds my meaning..
really sorry..

are we end?

from last few days, i start to think of many things he still hide from me.
izit i think too much or its true?
recently, we almost always argue.
i still wonder whether we still suit to each other or ..
i dont like to be like that.
many things that we are not match sometime.
i already force myself to do something that i dislike.
actually, its not "xing fu" to me..
i m sad about it.
when i m sad, i will listen to "missing you"
missing you 拋去愛 漸漸模糊的期待 難道我就這樣痛撤心扉 是自己活該
missing you every night 連星海也嘲笑我活該

guy : are we end?
girl : i dont know
guy : ok
girl suddenly laugh " hahahahaha............."
she is so silly...

i m torturing myself

someone kill me please..
i m suffer always
what can i do only make myself happy?
always hurt by people
i m so stupid
i really tired of it
i did so much equal to zero..
i wish have some one to make me really happy always
i really wish it
i hate his way to talk with me but its make me to think another who how to make me always happy when i m down.
did i do wrong decision already?
i dont know what i talking about
i dont know what i want already
really FAN!!!!

HURT - I hate YOU

I m sad ar..............................
really like foolsih ar.......................................
totally like stupid...................................................
(crying)
i hate him so much now
he still keep cheat me and play me again and again
at the end, i m the one get hurt too deep...
sigh~
cry also useless..
how i did for him
he never unds my heart and never appreciate me
really torturing myself
i really want to give up this time
if still continue like that
i will going to crazy soon..
i really hate him now..
my heart really broken and pain..
breathless
i really stupid and idoit..
wanna slap myself
i hate him
i really hate him!!!!
i dont want to love him anymore..
forget him!

its my love

finally, i get what i want..
i m happy and touch now..
i m satisfied now
its enough for me..
that is my love..
XIN FU LE

i really happy right now..
i dont know how to say now
i dont know how to do now
just feel silly and happy now..
hahaha

i love you
muakss

too tired already

today i m very tired............
i cannot pay attention in training class tonight
but i m read comic during training
haha...

well, i m keep busy for my work really busy
time really not enough for me..
i need work over 5pm already now >.<
but always get scold by daddy
always work too late and let he waiting for me long time >.<
really tired le

No time for relax now...
but every section, mins, hours i also will think of him
once i m free, my mind and heart start to think of him and miss him
where is him now?
really gone? or he also give up me?
or he mad at me and hate me 4va?
or what?
i dont know
i just know he misunds me already from that time..
but i also never want to explain to him
just let it go..
now it maybe go.. but my heart really canot let him go..
miss him now and think of him now
what he doing?
i really wan to know where is him?
anyone can tell me
where is him?
i need him..
i want find him..
i really do love him so much

why my blog start to mention him again and again?
i realize that i really fall in love with him seriously..
i love him more than myself..
its my love..

i still miss him II

after woke up, i going to living room watch tv and read newspaper..
then i feel boring while watch tv, i go to ask my sister
intro some books for me
she intro comic for me..
haha
well, i m reading comic..
erm.. i love its love story
i wish i m that girl in the story
so sweet and "xin fu"
its actor also handsome...
that time i just only imagine him..
only he look like comic actor.. as my type..
only i thinking of him
only imagine him together with me
he always in my mind...
his soul also stay in my mind..
i still love him...
how?
haha
GG already..

i still miss him

i still miss him so much..
i know i m hurt him but he maybe misunderstood me already
nevermind, its my fate
i always think that whether i hurt him more than he hurt me? or what?
last time, i cried for him so many times coz he hurt me too much
now its become worthless..
i dont know this time whether he is gone or not.. its news from someone told me
if he was gone, then i just feel so sorry guilty and......... dont know how to say..
maybe he still here, just cheat me or what.. who knows?
last time, not i dont want to talk with him
always talk with him not really happy.. coz keep argue-ing..damn it!!!
hate it..

i miss that time he went to somewhere and always talk by skype with me everynight..
hv fun, keep laughing and sweet same like a couple and dating
its short memory for me
i still keep cards which he sent to me in my drawer, i always read it when i miss him
after he back to his home, all things become worst..

25/12/08, 19/1/09 and 19/2/09
these are... important dates
and he told me that he will find me as his promises
haha he make me dissappoint 2 times already
i think its no more hope to me..

hey baby when we are together, doing things that we love
everytime you are near i feel i m in heaven feeling high
i dont want to let go
i just need you to know
i dont want you run away, you are the one i need in my life..

when you are gone, the piece of my hear are missing you
when you walk away, i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now?
i never felt this way before everthing tha i do reminds me of you.

i really love you.. i really do
you are the one most i love in this life..
love you with my true heart.

do you feel it?

my mouth......>.<

today.. erm not bad
finally complete my decoration yeah~
thx to team member..
i know i was busy for my job today and less do decoration..
thx for cooperate with me
^^

today just see doctor because my mouth swelling and itchy lo
1 week already... still like tht
i cannot tahan it

i wish can recover asap
coz i feel i m ugly now coz my mouth haha like little suasage haha

tomolo also is a busy day >.<
haih tired..

i would be stronger..

today i feel quite tired
because i just back from training just now..
learning new product GMD^^
i sure pay attention to it but i still daydream sometime haha
actually i m feel sleepy already
its quite boring session..

sigh~ after this month, nobody can fetch me go home already..
i think i should discuss with my mum for it..
i need to attend it, its my job and learn things..
i dont dare to skip cause i scare that boss will asking something that i couldn't answer her, then will nag or scold by her..

erm.. today quite confused about my jobs and plans..
suddenly many things to handle..
like decoration, ha.. i really dont know i should incharge for office decoration..
totally dont know it , i though i just incharge for dinner decoration only..
nvm, its small matter, i shouldn't unhappy easily, but i assume i dint pay attention for listen what other people told me be4=)
so from now, this is new jobs for me again
well, at that time i feel confused and blur about my plan for decoration
i cant arrange a good time for my teams for this decoration.
but i want to thank him Mr J coz he give me his opinion.
so i decide to use his idea to settle it for tomolo
must complete it tomolo within one day..no matter hw
i wish i can do it..
haih why har?
some people have do it last time, why dont tell me how to do or give me suggestion le?
nvm, its my mistake.. learn from it.. positive thinking now haha
in fact, i feel upset lo.. =(

always talk about my job
i also feel boring..
but i dont have time to think other things haha
no mood to think
mind full of job job job job...

dont talk about it anymore..hng

really "fan"

chinese new year coming soon, i still cant feel excite right now..
i heard boss said chu3 can start working le..
arh.. so fast?
should i take leave? go to relax?
or go to work hard?
i also dont ...
i wish can at least 1 week holiday la..
relax more during chinese new year
afterward, need work harder........especially OA training..and SALES

job again.. =.=
stop it.. STOP!!

erm... i already bought many clothes haha for chinese new year
spend alots.. wow..
now need control my spending and plan to saving and buy protection for myself lo..=)

i need to thank Mr K, he really loves me so much, sayang me so much
when i get trouble, he will concern me, suggest me, support me, teach me how to handle it..
i always share with him my problems and always cry in front of him..
although, he scold me, said me or shoot me, i will feel mad but also good for me, at least he can make me alert and better.
i love him so much even i always bully him haha

his birthday coming soon, wish to have a sweet celebrate with him =P
now plan to give him supprise
what it is?
haha =.=
dont know yet
dont have time to think about it..
haha

well, i will stop here and going to sleep now
wish myself tomolo will settle it smoothly and well =)
goodluck..

good day but tired

today, i m trying to wake up at 7am but.. i fall sleep again after awake..
haha coz i still feel sleepy and tired..
erm.. maybe not enough rest yesterday
haha...
after bath and breakfast, i m waiting for daddy fetch me go to office
oh no.. maybe my daddy cannot wake up today without my mum
my mum go to travel already. So my daddy sleep alone with his pillow.. haha
but lucky when i reach office, many agents still haven't come yet and i have few mins for prepare my things for meeting.

well..
today morning session is talk about 2009 goal.
trainer share alots knowledges and new things with us.
what i learning today?

i need setting my new goal for this year
not only for my job and also for my personal life
i will try to work with my BRAIN, not my HAND, not only work HARDER, must work SMARTER
i want to learn how to manage and control production and team
i want to earn more money
actually i dont interested with my job right now..
but its my job, i need working for my job even i dislike this job..
no matter how its difficult, i also need to be patient and work hard!
this is my promise to myself...do it with my effort..
i hope i can do it..and challenge it
i know its very pressure to me.. i m always cry for it..
but i also will continue it
untill the suitable time to leave it.. haha
maybe mr J is right, we only will be improved if we get pressure..

how about my goal for personal life?
i hunger to get a car
its convenient to me as well
i can go anywhere by driving myself
and i can do anythings that i like haha

i want to marry >.<
i need a man to feed me haha
give me money for spend..spend...spend..
wahaha

always hunger to marry sooner cause working life really pressure and suffer than studying life
i miss it so much..
can be queen housewife hahahaha=.=

i want to start save money as well
coz i want to buy car, do gym and so on

i want to keep fit!!!
coz i feel i m getting fatter... >.<
i need slim down like jolin tsai haha
wow..

i need to care my health
i must seldom drink cold water!!!
i m challenging with it
but i still love drink cold water >.<>
cannot! i need change it!

financail and family?
i haven't plan it
haha
always have financial problems
sigh~

today, i meet Mr J
he remind me to read books
haha
actually i dont like to read books.
nvm, i go to find 3 books 1st and
when i m free, i will go to read them.

as i know, want to be a successful person, need to read more books and more knowledges
so? when i wanna to do it for myself?
haiyo..

so tired le after working, issit my body get weak already?
maybe less execise..
headache now.. cannot look at computer screen too much
eye pain too..

oh ya, today boss said she have something want tell me and ask me..
wah i feel so scare now
i scare she scolding me >.<
i will cry one..
but i always tell myself must be strong! dont scare her!
erm.... still same =.=
wish tomolo will be a good day for me
god bless me!!!

my new life

wow! i use few hours to make up this blog

haha quite boring and tired =)

erm..

in the year 2009, i would write my blog everyday as my dairy.

oh why?

no reason..

just like to save some memories for myself

i would share anythings here and read myself haha

but i haven't read my document coz i need present it to my boss..

haha.. going to die sooner..

okie, i go to offline and read the document before i going to bed..

what? now is 12.10am already.. haha

too bad..

before sleep, i wish i wont get scold by boss tomolo, god bless me please!